"They turned back from walking with Jesus; not into sin, but away from Him. Many people today are pouring their lives out and working for Jesus Christ, but are not really walking with Him. One thing God constantly requires of us is a oneness with Jesus Christ. After being set apart through sanctification, we should discipline our lives spiritually to maintain this intimate oneness. When God gives you a clear determination of His will for you, all your striving to maintain that relationship by some particular method is completely unnecessary. All that is required is to live a natural life of absolute dependence on Jesus Christ."
-excerpt from Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest
*emphases added by me
Something's been off with me lately. Instead of being proud of looking different than this world, I've felt like an outsider. Reading Oswald Chambers' words gave me some clarity. My walk with Christ is determined by 1 thing, short of His grace, and that is my relationship with Him. Not how my actions look, not if I can recall scripture at a moments notice, not if I "feel" like I am living the life He intended for me to live.
All I have to do is keep my eyes fixed on Him.
Why is that so hard?
Because we live in a fallen world that has, for the most part, bought into Satan's lies. We are constantly surrounded in work and play with people who live their few days on this planet focused on things other than "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable"(Philippians 4:8). So, sure, you will definitely look like an oddball when, in casual conversation, you bring up things like...purity or holiness.
But I digress.
I desire to only desire Him. I desire to only crave His Word. I desire to become a woman of worth in His eyes. And if this requires me to withdrawal, to a degree, from the worldy world...so be it.
"Even the natural heart of the unsaved will serve if called upon to do so, but it takes a heart broken by conviction of sin, baptized by the Holy Spirit, and crushed into submission to God’s purpose to make a person’s life a holy example of God’s message."