"...I still can’t figure it out.
I try to listen.
I don’t know why He just won’t tell me straight out what is the best use of these days and is there anything that lasts and where is my place in the world? This heart sloshes its ache.
I just want to live for Jesus.
My heart hurts.
Does it hurt over the right things? Does it hurt in triplicate for the eternal or does it only hurt for things that are 'like straw to Him'? Am I bothered by the pain in this world? Or just the pain in me?
Or is it that —- the pain in me is a result of my indifference to the pain in this world?
'You really want to know how to live your one life best? Live the True Religion. Love and care for the hurting. Reach out to the orphans and widows, the homeless and loveless in their distress. Figure that out.'
Really? I’m the mother of six. How do mothers, homemakers, say yes to that? To poverty and starving children and a breaking world and how do we become the voices of prophets and the hands of saints and does He send us “to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind and to release all the oppressed”? I don’t know how this works."(emphasis by me.)
Ann over at Holy Experience seems to be in my head. Her words, seen above, are thoughts that run through my mind on a daily basis.
i just want to live for Jesus.
how do i do that exactly??