So I've fallen behind on my reading. In part b/c I have started reading The Shack while still reading Celebration of Discipline. Also b/c I have many projects going right now.
This morning a group of us from The Pointe went to the childrens hospital here in Jxn to pass out handmade pillowcases we had made. This is the same hospital that my family spent 2 months at, on and off, exactly one year ago. I was so afraid of what feelings and memories may surface by returning there. Until today, I have avoided even driving by the hospital, and when I had to I would keep my eyes straight ahead, avoiding looking at it.
However, I knew that God was expecting more from me and from the experiences we have been through with our baby girl then to cower in fear and hide from others who are going through the same situations.
So I arrived early and sat in my car. I turned to Psalm 23, read, prayed and walked into the same entrance that we carried our 2 month old daughter through one year ago.
Our guide actually let us go to each room on the 4th, 3rd, and 2nd floors to deliver the pillowcases. I had tears in my eyes the entire time. We saw teenagers who had just returned from surgery, twin 2 year olds lying in the same bed together, and 2 babies under the age of 1 that had no adult in the room with them. The nurse told us they "don't have moms". One of them was right around a year old and was about the size of a 4 month old. She had tubes coming out from all parts of her body-I wasn't sure where I could touch her. I laid my hand on her tiny little leg and whispered some of the same words that I whisper to my own daughter...
"You are a precious angel."
"I know. I know."
Our eyes connected and my heart trembled.
I also knocked on the door of a 5-month old girl named Makayla. It was dark in the room but I could see mom sitting in a chair, her face illuminated by a laptop screen. Makayla has an infection and may have to have a shunt put into her head. I spoke with Makayla and also went over to mom and touched her on the arm. I told her that I had been in her exact same position about a year ago with my baby girl. I told her that I know how it can become like a cocoon in that hospital room, sometimes not leaving for days on end. She told me that she missed her other children but was able to talk to them some. I let her know that I would be praying for her Makayla.
The Holy Spirit is amazing. Only a few years ago, I had never entered a childrens hospital. I had no knowledge of this world until I was thrust into it. A few years ago, I never would have been able to open up to a complete stranger and share our fears and our love for our children. I never would have even been thinking about these parents and these children.
I was too busy thinking about
Psalm 23 (King James Version)
1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.